Are you done waiting on your soul-mate? Have the trials of the modern dating scene got you down? Putting yourself out there again and again in search of the perfect partner can get pretty frustrating, especially if you believe in true love. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! The search for love is something that unites all of us- we’re all just looking for the right person to spend our lives with. But why’s it gotta be so hard?
For most of us, feeling loved is a requirement for happiness. But life these days just keeps getting more and more intense. We’ve got larger workloads, stricter deadlines, and anxieties dropping in from all corners. It’s a hard-knock life, for sure, and adding the stress of dating on top of all of that could make anyone give up on relationships. In fact, research suggests that 75% of Americans find it difficult to date and find love. But it doesn’t have to be that way!
Sure, love can be intense, but we often forget that it’s supposed to be a process. That’s why it’s important we identify the reasons why we find it difficult to take part in that process. So here are three major reasons why people find it difficult to date, along with some potential solutions. Don’t worry; Cupid hasn’t given up on you yet!
1. Your Love Life is Your Own
We’re been so overloaded with the romantic fantasies of Hollywood that we’ve begun to think of love as something you can quantify. When you see the perfect partner, you might expect to feel swept off your feet, like a hundred different explosions are going off in your chest, or like you’ve been struck by lightning. But love isn’t that typical, everyone’s going to have a different experience in finding love, and if yours doesn’t match what you’re expecting, don’t let that put you off! There aren’t any rules to the game, so you shouldn’t have any expectations either.
2. You’re Impatient
Sometimes, it can feel like everyone around you has found stable, loving relationships except you. That might push you into questioning what you’re doing and feeling a little hopeless. But that’s just a sign that you’re being impatient or have too high standards. So maybe you have dated several different people but weren’t able to find someone who completes you- that’s no reason to give up! Finding the perfect match? That’s pretty much impossible. Finding someone who enjoys your company, makes you feel heard, and supports you? Definitely possible!
3. Identity Crisis
According to psychologists, being confused about who you are can seriously damage your chances of building meaningful relationships. Oftentimes, we can find ourselves chasing trends and following the crowd, but that might not be true to who we are. And trust us, everyone occasionally feels like there’s a divide between what they want to do and what people think is cool. And not being sure about where you belong or what your values are, can make relationships even harder, because it makes communication between partners really tough. Honestly, knowing yourself should be a prerequisite to entering a committed relationship!
There can be multiple reasons you haven’t found your better half yet. So, what are the solutions?
1. Remember that compatibility takes time.
The truth is, love isn’t something you find, but rather something you build. Of course, building something from scratch takes time, but rest assured - it is worth it. So next time you feel like you’re connecting with someone, get ready to study them. Start paying attention to all the little details when you’re getting to know a person. Everything from where they work to how they like their coffee can give you insights into their character. Make sure you know your partner well!
2. Keep your personality alive.
Don’t be one of those people who define themselves by whether they’re in a relationship or not. Always keep your interests and hobbies alive. Make time for that movie you’ve been wanting to see, and head out to the gym once in a while. Keep meeting up with your friends every week, if that’s important to you. Always remember that you’re more than your relationship. Keeping these things in mind makes you seem more independent and secure to your partner, and that’s healthy for any relationship!
3. Be smart with dating apps.
Dating apps can set you off on your journey to find love, but the tricky part is learning how to use them wisely. Make sure you’re applying the right filters and give yourself an interesting bio to hook the right people. Highlight your diverse interests and upload a couple of pictures that make you look good. Be confident!
Once you find a good match, it’s all about communication and keeping things real. If your idea of a nice night involved ordering in and watching Netflix, you probably don’t want to date someone who loves parties.
4. Learn how to handle rejection
Finally, always keep in mind that not everyone you find attractive will want to go out with you. Even if they’ve agreed to a first date, they might not think the relationship’s for them afterward. That’s not a knock on you, rejections can have any number of reasons behind them, and it’s important to never let them define your self-worth, or think of them as personal attacks. Some things just aren’t meant to be accepted. You know what they say: there’s a whole lot of fish in the sea!
Finding true love really isn’t that tough if you’re looking for it in the right place, get on #NticeMe and start searching today!